Life is fragile, precious, unpredictable
Hello! It’s been a while, it’s lovely to get back to this…. I’ve missed being in touch.
A lot has happened since I last wrote. The most sparkly news of all is that my little boy arrived safe and sound. An adorable little chilled out guy, who we named Theo, meaning ‘gift from God’ and he sure is. He’s been such a blessing since he made his arrival.
It hasn’t been plain sailing with a lot of issues coming up to the birth due to the blood transfusion I received in Africa almost 20 years ago! It meant we had to have Theo delivered sooner than we would have liked, and a lot of running to the hospital previously. I developed a womb infection post section which was very painful and took a long time to diagnose so quite worrying with trips to A&E and out of hours etc. We lost my beautiful mum-in-law very suddenly at the beginning of the year due to cancer, and my precious dad is currently unwell in hospital too. All that amidst the crazy situation we find ourselves in with Covid-19. It can all seem too much sometimes and I know I’m not the only one feeling that life can throw one too many curve balls.
I wish I had a lovely little sentiment to add to the end of this to say that everything will be well and that I can guarantee life will be beautiful once more, but the truth is none of us know that. None of us know what’s around the corner. None of us can stop life from being fragile.
Bear with me.. this is not all doom and gloom, I promise!
What I can guarantee is our here and now. We have a choice as to what we do with it.
We can (and should) feel that fear, worry, sadness, grief, pain, anger and heartache…. Acknowledge it… sit with it and let it be. Maybe you’re in the middle of some of those emotions right now, I know I sure am… so sit with those feelings, but also be on the look out for good feelings too, feelings of hope, thankfulness and peace. It’s ok to have a mixed bag of emotions circling around.
I can see a day where I’m enjoying being with my family, out walking the quiet roads, in the glorious sunshine, getting the most gorgeous cuddles and chats from Theo, laughing with the girls and then I’m hit with a wave of worry about my dad, or Lily or Anna have a wee cry over missing their granny and my heart breaks a little more because I can’t ‘fix’ it for them.
That’s normal, and that’s ok… Life is not a guaranteed joy ride. For me it comes back to those ‘sparkly bits’ that you’ll always hear me talking about. Embrace those precious happy moments, let them fill your heart, soul and mind… and then when the rubbish times come you’ll have enough of a sparkly reserve to carry you through until you can build up some more in your tank. We don’t always have to have the answers, we just need to remember to, as cliché as it sounds, enjoy the ride when we can, embrace the good times and allow ourselves to feel the bad times, accepting all the emotions, good and bad.
I stumbled across this lovely little piece of writing, I’m not even sure who it’s by, but it sums it all up quite well… so until next time, stay safe my messy fellow humans.
Sarah x