20 Years Ago..
This day 20 years ago my life was turned upside down, literally.
Physically, emotionally and mentally.
I was in Africa, doing some amazing volunteering work with a youth development charity. We were changing projects and were mid-journey, across a desert route, when the jeep we were in got caught in a ‘speed wobble’, the jeep went on to loose complete control and flip over and over. We were in the back with no seatbelts and were very severely thrown about.
My friend was killed, another had a nasty head injury, one walked out without a bruise and I was completely ‘squashed’ by a heavy brut of a metal water container. My lungs were punctured, my ribs smashed and my spine was broken in 6 places with the impact.
It took a long number of hours for help to arrive, and during that time I have such strong memories of passing away, feeling it was the end of my time.. unable to breathe but having the pain stop and waves of peace wash over me, to then experience a clear, long, breath of air fill my lungs again and enable me to keep going until help arrived. I believe strongly that it wasn’t my time to go and that God had a purpose for me to live on, so I was gifted my life back again.
20 years on and I look back at a real tapestry of 2 decades. Filled with gratitude, sorrow, grief, joyfulness, grit & determination, hopelessness, loss and an abundance of love.
What a vast array of ups and downs. I can only tell you of a few of the extremes here or I’d be typing all day! But from feeling like I didn’t want to live another day because of the debilitating pain, feeling I was totally robbed of my ability to ‘live’ and ‘be’ due to the horrendous physical pain and dealing with the emotional turmoil that came with that, to running round after my 3 kids on a beautiful sunny day this summer, rolling around in the grass with them laughing till I was sore and having such a clear moment of the true miracle that was. After experiencing the depths of despair and then the pure joy that moment brought… wow, even writing this now I find it hard to comprehend the vast enormity of comparison there.
We all have important ‘moments’ or experiences in our lives that shape who we are and what we become. At highlighted times in our lives, like this 20 year anniversary, I think those moments become more apparent when we look back.
For me, the ones that stand out include:
· Experiencing depths of desperation and being aware that I was struggling to find the strength to go on
· Finding acupuncture and getting off my heavy meds
· Being able then to start a family and go on to have 3 precious children
· Deciding to and being supported to study for 3 years and achieve my diploma in Traditional Chinese Medicine and Acupuncture
· Opening my business and seeing it grow
· Having my dad and mother in law die within a short time of each other
· Battling and dealing with a lot of personal stress and difficult circumstance
· Finding really impactful ways of diminishing my physical pain and building my confidence back up again
Talk about a rollercoaster!
There’s a beautiful poem I’d like to share with you…
No matter how dark our days or how difficult or impossible they may seem, knowing that there is a rich tapestry being woven, full of different shades and textures, gives me hope and comfort and helps me hold on.
I hope and pray for the lightest, brightest, sparkliest threads in abundance, for all our tapestries… but also for the grit and belief we need for when the darker threads are being woven.
Sending lots of love,
Sarah x